YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT

I come before you today a subject of humility and pain. My ego has fallen, while my physical body is battered and bruised. I have endured persecution from my dearest wife with laughter as her onslaught. With this as my "Everest" I am climbing the mountain of anguish while peering over the cliffs of self preservation. These dilemmas have all been brought upon myself because of the purchase of an "itouch" three weeks ago...



If any of you are apart of society and mingle with the "average joe", then my selling you on the amazezingness (don't worry its a word) of this product is wasted blog space. But since I now HATE this technological wonder I must spend the time to critisize its existence. This small handheld device nearly took my eye out. Since Christmas time is approaching I can refer to the always favorite movie "The Christmas Story" and claim the similarty of the red rider bb gun to the apple itouch.
As far as I am concerned they are one and the same. With the ability that the itouch, aka "pupil killer", has to sense movement and direction playing golf, or any action sport, it is deemed quite fun to play. Like the Nintendo Wii...physical movement is manditory. I know, I know you all are like, physical movement??? Scott HATES physical anything...and this true...so consider yourselves geniuses. But this is the reason my left eye nearly was taken to the grave. You see, I was playing golf on the itouch, and was extremly tired of swinging the device while standing up. If I am going to be playing a game...I'm sittin down, relaxed, kicked back, ichin' and scratchin' where it iches...that sorta thing. SO...as I was playing the physical game of golf, I decided to see if I could sit in the lazyboy while swinging the club...NOT A GOOD IDEA.

Now you really have to put a good effort in to the swing to make the ball go anywhere...so that's exactly what I did...and POW right in the FACE!!!

NOW YOU CAN LAUGH...it really is pretty freakin funny...I even laughed a bit myself after the round of golf was over. The only thing Kelli saw was me holding my face as I cussed at the itouch. I believe she is still laughing at my expense.

SO...ladies if you want to buy your husband an itouch for Christmas--DON'T (sorry guys). Because just like Ralphie...YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT!!!